


The Prospit and Derse wards

by InfernalMachette



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Amputation, Dystopia, F/M, Human AU, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Other, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Past Drug Use, Red Romance, Sadstuck, tags to be added later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-11 17:20:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4445120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfernalMachette/pseuds/InfernalMachette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Sollux is recovering from having a serious head injury, Eridan being his nurse and love intrest, Feferi being his doctor and Eridans best friend, Gamzee and Tavros being his friends and fellow patients.<br/>In which later the plot subdivides and Gamzee is a drug recovery who falls in love with Tavros who is at first paralysed bellow the waist then a amputee, then they both meet a head injury recovery whom is called Sollux and become his friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Buthy Bee and ED

**Author's Note:**

> My updates probably wont be regular and I can't promise my work will be amazing because this is the first piece I've taken seriously and plan on making long. Hope you enjoy the ride anyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sollux has a splitting headache, is confused but luckily bumps into a nurse with a really nice voice and pretty eyes.

Sollux walked through the blank halls scrunching up his nose at the bitter alkaline smell of chemicals around him. The harsh white walls and silver trimmings hurt his eyes. The floor was hard and cold, it tried to suck the warmth out of his body through his annoyingly thin slippers. Everything made his head pound. It was stuffed full of harsh colours and screeching voices. It hurt so bad. He felt sick. Why did everything hurt? Suddenly someone bumped into him and he fell over with a groan, his head pounding harder.  
"Ow what the fuck man!" he groaned, that small sentence ripped through his scull like white hot fire  
"Ehem? Excuse you!?" a hand took his shoulder and gently dragged him to his feet despite the sharp tone of the other person. 

He looked up at the person who had crashed into him. His eyes met deep blue ones. Almost violet. A sharp chiseled face full of life and health. This guy was still talking. A mixture of Scottish and texan was his accent. It had a odd slightly feminine under tone. The warmth he was giving off started soothing the buzzing in his head. The colours smoothed out into soft pastels and the cracks smoothed out and he could breathe for a second.  
"Hey, hey! Were you listening to anything I said asshole? You need to get back to your room before you hurt yourself stupid" the guy had thick glasses  
"You have pretty eyes" Sollux mumbled. He noticed a name tag, Eridan. Ampora. He sounded it out in his head as eridan guided him gently back to his room.  
"So sollux do you know how long you've been here?" Eridan’s voice was still rich and soothing. Sollux hummed and the tired to get closer so he could hear the voice more.  
"No"  
"Ok buddy that's ok. Want anything? Water? More pillows?" he was pushed onto the bed. His hands scrunched the sheets and he felt a soft hand on his head stroking his hair. A strained purr escaped his mouth  
"A story please." the hand kept running though his hair.  
"Ok buddy I'll tell you a little history tale. How does that sound?"  
Sollux nodded and found his head didn't burst. He smiled and listened to the soothing voice that made its way into his ears and calmed his aching head. So soft and warm. He drifted off into a unusually peaceful sleep.

Sollux woke up with a start his head buzzing and aching one word kept repeating but he didn't understand it. He tried to make it with his mouth  
"Eriii... Eriii dann? Eee. Dan... Ed. ED...?" he kept mumbling looking around the room. Harsh white light. He hissed and held his head.  
"ED." he hissed and rubbed his sore temples. Rippling sharp edges filled his head their bright colours and scraping sounds made him grit his teeth. It all hurt. It hurt so bad he wanted to scream but all he could manage was a small whimper 

"ED" he curled up under his neatly tucked sheets then he noticed a red, button? By his bed. It had a little person on it. He pressed it for some reason wondering if it did anything. Nothing happened but his head rushed with red blue fire and his vision blurred. He hissed and held his head as the pain increased by a tenfold, squeezing his eyes shut. Suddenly a soft hand was on his face he hissed and slapped it away but quickly regretted it as the pain increased. Barely able to move he whimpered. The hand was back on his face and a voice started cutting through the thick blurring colours again. 

Again? He didn't understand why it was a second time. He couldn't remember ever hearing the voice but he somehow recognised the soft feminine quality behind its rumbling texan, Scottish hybrid of a accent. He slowly opened his eyes to a darker room. A softer yellow light made all the edges less sharp and the yellow curtains around his bed defused it more. He purred and the hand kept stroking his forehead.  
"Yes sollux it's ok now I'm here. Yes it's ED. That's my name. Well done. Shhh it's ok buddy." the voice started making sense and sollux smiled the tension in his body easing off.  
"Are you in pain?" the voice called ed asked softly as the hand moved to his cheek.

Sollux nodded slightly and tapped his head. The soft hand stoked where the base of his scull met his neck. He sighed as the tension and pain released completely. Relaxing he looked around more and Found the source of the voice. ED. ED had a purple streak in his ginger hair. It looked soft and curly as it fell around his face. It looked like it was usually held back by gell but it's owner couldn't be bothered today. A spray of freckles lay across his sharp nose and brushed his cheeks. Sollux slowly reached up and patted his face with a big smile like he had just given ed a present. Ed smiled softly and nodded  
"Thank you sol." he patted the spidery hand on his face and gently put it back down. Sollux smiled and scrunched the sheets up under his chin  
"ssThong?" he asked tilting his head. ED smiled and started singing a soft tune as sollux fell asleep again.

He woke up slowly this time. The light in his room was still a soft yellow and his head hurt but not as much. He vaguely registered the sound of the rolling wheels of a food trolly. The curtains around his bed were drawn back slightly letting a little harsh white light which he squinted and hissed at. The curtains quickly shut and ED was holding a tray with water and a small cup of green jello on it. He set it down and carefully sat next to sollux. Sollux was confused. Who was ED and how did he know him? How could he recognise his form even through the blurriness of his vision. He slowly sat up rubbing his face but he felt weak and fell back on his pillows. The bed suddenly moved and he was sitting up but still supported by it. He let out a confused squawk but he went silent when he heard the voice.

“Sol can you open your mouth?” he nodded and opened his mouth, the rim of the cup of water was pressed to his lips. He drank it slowly letting ED pour it in his mouth. The room around him started coming into focus as his head settled and his depth of field increased. He saw ED sitting in front of him except instead of the usual blurriness that surround ED’s face had cleared and he could see all of him. He had a lean, oddly padded build under his clothes according to his arms. He had a shirt that went to his wrists then one over that that was shorter. The water was finished. Sollux pouted and bit the cup. ED pulled it away and put it down. 

“Open again.” He fiddled with the jello and got a spoonful ready. Sollux opened his mouth and ate the jello, he poked out his tongue at the taste.  
“Yellow.” he pouted  
“Sorry sol?” ED looked confused as he gave sollux more jello  
“Yellow?” he pointed at the jello weakly as the last spoonful was given to him  
“You want yellow next time huh?” ED put the cup and spoon down. Sollux nodded  
“I’ll see what I can do. Good job buzzy bee.” He smiled and took the tray nodding at a yellow and black thing next to sollux on the nightstand. 

Sollux watched him walk out then he looked at the nightstand. He saw a round yellow and black thing with soft looking fluff all over it. He picked it up and squished it. It was soft. He hugged it and found it fit into his arms perfectly.  
“Buthhy bee?” he tilted his head repeating the word ED had used looking at the squishy thing in front of him. It had a little tag on it with some scribbles on it. He squinted at the tag and wrote it off as nonsense. He hugged the thing tight.  
“Buthy bee.” He hummed and nuzzled its soft fur. He settled back in his bed hugging buzzy bee and fell asleep.

He woke again clinging onto buzzy bee, his waking up was getting easier. The sharp edges were getting softer every time. He remembered green jello, buzzy bee and ED. He hummed and went back to sleep


	2. New Sights, New Wonders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sollux is getting better slowly and he gets a new room

It had been a week. He had a calendar next to his bed and ED marked the days in purple marker for him.

Sollux hummed and woke up. The bright white light made him screech. He hid his eyes trying to block out the light. He screeched louder.  
"Sol" ED. He stopped screeching wanting to hear his voice.  
"ED, hurth" he whimpered  
"I know bee but we're moving you to a new room in the Prospit ward." he felt that familiar soft hand on his face and started relaxing. He nodded.  
"Think you can walk bee?" he shook his head  
"That's ok. I'm going to pick you up if you're ok with that." EDs warm arms around him? He nodded. He was lifted up into the air. It made his head pound. He whimpered and clung to ED squeezing his eyes shut. He was gently placed into a wheelchair.  
"Buthy Bee?" the soft toy was placed in his arms. He hummed and nuzzled it feeling the pain subside. ED hummed putting the calendar in his lap. All his belongings. He hid his face in buzzy bees fur and listened to ED.  
"You might start actually seeing your doctor soon. She's called Feferi and she's the best in the biz. She's really great sol you'll like her..." he stopped paying attention and just listened to EDs voice. After a while they stopped. He had ended up in a bigger room with big windows looking out across a dark city. Warm yellow light. Quiet. He hummed happily and stared out the windows at the muted city lights. ED ruffled his hair and lifted him into his new bed.  
"Nice pad sol. Might hang out here a lot." ED hummed as he tucked sollux in. Sollux smiled slightly at ED.  
"Yay." a odd expression shot across EDs face but it disappeared quickly as he set the calendar on the night stand.  
"Might get you a radio too. So you can listen to music."  
Solluxs smile widened but he was feeling sleepy. He layed back on his bed and hugged buzzy bee close. ED sat next to him and stroked his hair.  
"Welldone buzzy bee you did a great job today." he smiled gently at sollux. Sollux fell asleep.

He was looking out the windows at the city again. The sky was stormy and rain was pattering on the windows. Combined with the radios humming and singing his head was doing well. Blurry fragments of his memories were coming back. He hugged buzzy bee tighter when he heard a knock on the door. ED didn't knock who was this? He looked over at the door and saw a bubbly looking curvy woman with long curly hair pulled up into a large bun, a doctors coat and pink framed glasses. She smiled and he relaxed. Her smile was pretty.  
"Hi sollux, how you doing? I'm Doctor Peixes but you can call me feferi." her smile widened as she offered him a hand. He took it and shook it.  
"Great. Anyway I'm going to pop in every now and then, ask you some questions, do some tests. Nothing too big ok?"  
Sollux nodded and took his hand back watching her adjust her brown clip board. Her top was a nice pink and she had a thin gold chain with a pearl on it. He reached out and pointed at the pearl  
"Niice pearl." he stuttered his I's. She grinned again.  
"Thank you. I'll be back later ok?" he hummed and nodded. She walked out with a wave. He smiled and looked out the window again trying to pronounce her name. Feef-erii fefff... FF.

ED walked in with the food trolley. Except instead of just his usual yellow jello there was toast. He tilted his head.  
"Thought you'd like more food." ED hummed and offered him the toast. Sollux took it and had a bite. Honey, He liked honey. He smiled and ate the toast slowly. Then he took his jello and water as usual. The toast settled nicely in what was usually his very hollow stomach. He hummed with appreciation once he finished his meal and patted ED's face.  
"Thanks." ED's cheeks went a odd pink and he pulled away taking the tray with him.  
"Just doing my job Sol." Sollux tilted his head at the strained tone EDs voice took on. He hummed and hugged Buzzy.  
"Song?" He looked at ED as the nurse fiddled with the tray. ED looked back at him with a strained smile.  
"Sorry Bee not right now. I'll come back later ok?" Sollux smiled and waved as ED walked out the room  
"Bye Eridan." Eridan stopped for a second gripping the trolly tight. He mumbled a quick goodbye and sprinted out the room leaving Sollux confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness this is short. If my spelling or grammar is bad send me a message


	3. Two Visitors and Cold Lino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which sollux starts moving around without a splitting headache and can hold better conversations

Sollux was learning things. Things were making more sense and the constant colours were starting to form ideas and shapes. The rough edges were fitting together like puzzle pieces when he sifted through them. He had remembered how to read and write. FF had given him a little yellow book and a pencil. She had said he shouldn't really be allowed them but she had snuck them in anyway. The book had lists in it. Lists of what he remembered. Lists of how he felt. Lists of what was right and wrong. Lots of lists. He also drew. Granted his drawings were horrible scribbles but he understood them and thats all that mattered. In his mind they formed things. Things like FF's pearl necklace. Things like how the city looked both lit up at night and cold during the day. Things like Eridan's eyes and freckles. Most of them were things of Eridan. He was able to talk for longer and his words were less garbled by his stutter and lisp. It didn't hurt a lot when he woke up anymore, just a dull ache in the back of his head. 

Two other people had started visiting him. They called themselves his family. Tuna was the loud one, he bounced around the room humming and singing looking out the window, grinning at the view, blabbering on about something called skate boarding and how he was doing really well with it. Talking endlessly about his training to be a pilot. Sollux liked listening to his voice. It was buzzy and bouncy, his brothers lack of long attention span making him shift subjects quickly. Like a bubbling river. A swift flowing bubbling bouncing river. It made him smile to hear so much life in one voice. Eridan and FF had nice voices too but neither had so much energy. Alexander who called himself sollux's father was quiet and soft. His voice was deep and warm. He sat next to sollux and talked to him calmly, asked him how he was feeling, asked him how the staff were treating him at the hospital, asked him about his drawings and lists. Other then that he would be trying to calm Tuna down or just simply listening to Sollux. He was steady and calming like a big warm rock. His voice held a comforting, safe quality that Tuna, Eridan and FF couldn't achieve. They made his days more interesting. Removed more of the buzz. Helped him remember things and fit more of the edges together. Tuna bought him a pot of daffodils because he said the room was too clean. His father bought him colouring books and a box of crayons when he mentioned he wanted to get the colours out of his head. They both gave him his soft yellow blanket and the two sets of pj's. He liked it when they visited.

Eridan was coming in with stuff other then his nurse attire. He always had a jacket and scarf. His shirts were mainly button ups but occasionally they didn't have buttons. He always let Sollux hold his jackets and play with the zips and buttons. He also let him play with his scarf. Sollux liked the buttons and zips because the fitted together neatly. He liked the scarf because it was warm, soft and smelt like Eridan. Eridan talked to him a lot. He asked about the drawings too and blushed when he heard what they were. Sollux didn't really understand why Eridan wore casual clothes sometimes but he thought he would understand someday so he kept wondering. He liked talking to Eridan a lot. He liked hearing his rich warm voice. It wasn't one certain thing. It wasn't the Huge bouncy amount of energy like tunas, It wasn't the soft calm rock of his dads, It wasn't the gentle kind tones of FF's yet it was all of them at once in more subtle ways. It had something else in it too. He didn't know what it was but it seemed like a more intense liking for him then the other three. It confused him but he was going to continue thinking about it. 

He was getting more food. He was getting nicer food. He enjoyed it. He was also getting physio sessions from FF. She got him to stretch and move around in his bed. He liked doing the stretches. Made him feel stronger. He wondered how long until he could walk around, what with his week muscles and frame. Turned out it wasn't long until he was encouraged to try. With FF supporting his left and Eridan on his right he swung his feet out of bed. He hummed and enjoyed the lino that had once made him hiss. The new texture compared to his bed was a marvel. He took a shaky step grinning and watching his feet. Soon he was walking slowly around the room with Eridan and FF watching closely. FF with a wide, kind smile and Eridan with a small almost proud one. He liked seeing that glint of pride on Eridan. He was getting better. Maybe he would get to meet other patients soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already got 7 kudos a bookmark a comment and 48 hits? Woza thanks. Could you guys give me comments though please? They're helpful. I might take suggestions too if they're good :) (Alexander is Piionic just in case you didn't catch that)


	4. Walking Further

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sollux colours a lot and chats with Eridan then enjoys a walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consistent posting at the moment? Golly! Apologies for my rambling in the notes dears

Sollux hummed, sitting legs crossed on his bed, scribbling with his crayons on his latest colouring master piece. It was a beehive with many buzzy bees flying around it. He had decided yellow was too mainstream for bees so he was using purple. Also he wanted to save his yellow. He liked his yellow crayon and used it sparingly. He hummed along with the song on the radio.  
"When you hold me, iin your armth tho tiight, you let me know, everythiingth all riight, IIII'M, hooked on a feeliing..." he belted out  
"I'm high on belivving..." ED. He grinned and waved with his free hand. The nurse sat on the bed next to him.  
"Nice colouring buzzy bee. Thats the neatest one I'vve seen from you yet." Sollux smiled wider and kept scribbling.  
"Yeah! II'm gettiing better at makiing the colourth fiit right." he hummed and finished off the next bee.  
"Want two try?" He offered Eridan his other purple crayon and pointed at the last bee  
"Nah I probably wwouldn't be nearly as good as you are. Don't wwant to mess up your colouring. I'll stick wwith taking photos thanks." he gently pushed the crayon back to Sollux  
"You take phototh?" Sollux tilted his head  
"Huh? Oh yeah, I mean Sometimes? Wwould you wwant to see some next time I visit?" Sollux looked up his eyes wide and sparkling

Eridan chuckled.  
"I'll take that as a yes." he shuffled closer to sollux appearing to relax a little.  
"ED can II go thomewhere?" Sollux leaned on one of his hands putting his crayon down  
"Where exactly Bee?" Eridan picked up the colouring book looking through it  
"II dunno II'm jutht feeliing bored. II wanna go on a walk." He hummed oooh child.. someday things are gonna get brighter...  
"Hm wwhy not. Lets go then Sol, I'll showw you the garden." Eridan smiled shutting the book and placing it in the drawer of the nightstand  
"Waiit really?!" Sollux gasped, Eridan chuckled  
"Yeah sol. If you feel tired wwe'll head back. Sides fef did say it wwould be a good idea to get you up and movving."  
"Yay!" the excited man hopped out of bed and slipped on his slippers grabbing Eridan's hand  
"Come on letth go!" Eridan chucked again at Sollux's enthusiasm standing up and leading Sollux out of his room. 

Sollux marvelled at all the new sights of the hallways now that his head wasn't spinning, full of sharp colours and screeching. He touched the shinny stripe of metal that went along the walls, stopped and stared at the occasional paintings that appeared and looked out the few windows that showed the inner circle of the hospital and some of the city. It was all new and he loved it even stopping to pat the fake plants. Eridan smiled back at him stopping whenever he wished. After about a ten minute walk they came to a group of elevators. Eridan pressed the down button and stepped into the elevator holding the door for Sollux. He marvelled at the downward movement and looked out the glass into the courtyard. There appeared to be two patients wandering around. Well, one of them was with a nurse hovering a reasonable distance away. The other person was sitting in a wheel chair reading a book. 

The elevator dinged and he hopped out in front of Eridan. He walked straight towards a bed of big yellow daffodils. He hummed and leaned over the small glass rim around them. He sniffed. They didn't smell like chemicals and medicine. They smelt like the ones his brother had given him. They didn't smell like chemicals and medicine! He grinned and pointed at them.

"Ed! Ed they thmell good!" Eridan smiled and chuckled.  
"Yeah but don't you havve daffodils in your room?" Sollux nodded  
"Yeah but not thiith many!" he grinned wider looking at the flowers  
"Want to look at some other flowers?" Eridan walked over and stood beside him  
"Mhm lets go!" He walked over to a bed of marigolds liking their range of bright butter yellows, warm golds, tangerine oranges and fiery crimson. The patient who had a nurse trailing him appeared next to sollux quite suddenly  
"They're mother fucking miraculous right brother?" The gangly person grinned his curly hair poking out in all directions splotches of pinkish skin spread out around their mouth, dark brown almost black eyes and nose, contrasting with their otherwise dark complexion, almost like clown make up. There was a word for that skin condition but Sollux was too scared to think. Sollux leaped back with a squeak and hid behind Eridan scared of the stranger. The other nurse walked over rolling his eyes and grabbed the other patient by the elbow dragging them away  
"Gamzee what the fuck did I tell you about sneaking up on people like that..." The pair went out of hearing range and Sollux was trembling. Eridan turned around.  
"Sollux hey, you ok?" he shook his head  
"Ok. You want to keep looking at the flowers?" He shook his head again squeezing his eyes shut. It had been too fast. They had talked to him too fast. Introduced themselves too quick. Appeared too fast for him to process and it scared him when he didn't know what to say. Eridan took his hand and stroked the back of it with the pad of his thumb

He relaxed and sudunly felt very tired. He didn't remember the walk back to his room but he found himself back on his bed hugging buzzy bee and tucked in. He fell asleep feeling safe and warm again with Eridan watching over him carefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goodness more people! Thanks for looking at my work :)  
> Now its great to see the hits raking up and all but I would love it if you guys considered giving this piece a promo on any media you have a decent following on. Even if you don't have a large following actually, just share it everywhere! One of my goals with this fic is to get to the point where it gets a piece of fan art or two. Yes the patient in the wheel chair was tavros. Yes the tall patient who jump scared was Gamzee. Well I do but I cant spell it for the life of me. If one of you lot knows I would love it if you messaged me or commented.  
> Until tomorrow lovelies


	5. Coffee and Doughnuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eridan is confronted by both Feferi and Karkat about his increasingly obvious feelings for one of his patients

Ed sighed watching Sollux sleep for another five minutes stroking his forehead gently. A hand was suddenly on his shoulder and he jumped with a start.  
"Little creepy watching patients." FF chuckled and patted his face.  
"How long were you watching?" he whispered massaging his temples walking out with her  
"Long enough. You going to admit you've got it bad for him yet or are we still in denial?" She chuckled  
"I don't like him! Geeze fef wwe'vve been ovver this!" he growled looking away to hide the blush that was quickly spreading across his face.  
"Denial then huh?" she stopped and crossed her arms turning to him  
"Ed cant you let yourself be happy?" she raised a eyebrow at him when he didn't look back at her but stopped and clenched his fists  
"No fef, I can't let myself fall in lovve wwith a patient. Its just not right. An I already love..."  
"Eridan we've been over that too. Why can't you let yourself move on? Why is it so wrong?" she put a hand on his arm watching the tension melt away. He sighed.  
"I don't knoww fef. I think I'm just scared ok? Just. Leavve it for noww ok?" He looked back at her with a exhausted look in his eyes  
"Ok. But you cant avoid thinking about it Ed. You cant avoid him. So talk to me after work?" she tilted her head and put a hand on his face, he nodded.  
"Course fef. I'll meet you at the usual place?" He smiled tiredly. She patted his cheek.  
"Coures right back at you ed. Go take a break too. You look like shit." She grinned at him rolling his eyes  
"Thanks fef. I think I'll go talk to kar." He sighed as she gave a nod of approval and skipped away. He pulled out his phone and started pestering Karkat, his fellow nurse and best gossip/rant buddy.

caligulasAquarium [CA] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]:  
CA: Kar  
CA: Kar I knoww you're there.  
CA: Kar can wwe havve a gossip jam  
CA: I knoww you're on your break  
CG: FUCKING HELL ERIDAN YOU'RE JUST GOING TO RANT ABOUT HOW FEFERI DOSEN'T UNDERSTAND YOU AND HOW IT'S SO STUPID THAT SHE THINKS YOU LIKE THAT ONE WEIRD BEE GUY AGAIN WHATS THE FUCKING POINT?  
CA: I'll buy you coffee.  
CG: NO, I'M NOT SOME CHEAP COFFEE WHORE  
CA: And doughnuts  
CG: I CANNOT BE BRIBED WITH SHITTY FOOD AMPORA  
CA: I know you want to talk about your one weird clown crush too Kar.  
CG: I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CRUSH ON GAMZEE, THEY'RE A FUCKING IDIOT. MORE SO THEN THE AVERAGE FUCKTARD. BESIDES THEY HAVE SOMEONE ELSE HEAD OVER WHEELS WITH THEM AND ITS SO FUCKING GROSS I SWEAR I WANT TO BARF  
CA: I'll see you in ten minutes then?  
CG: .....  
CG: FUCK FINE BUT YOU BETTER GET ME A CHOCOLATE GLAZED AND A STRAWBERRY JAM. YOU KNOW WHAT COFFEE I WANT  
CA: Yeah see you there Kar  
caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

With that Eridan headed over to the closest Duncan Doughnuts to collect the confectionary and coffee.

After waiting for two minutes sipping the most tolerable swirl of the selection of drinks offered at the previously mentioned doughnut establishment his short shouty gossip bud walked in and slumped next to him.  
"First you give me my fucking coffee and doughnuts, then you have permission to lecture me on exactly why you don't like this 'sollux' asshole" He snatched his food and drink and took a large gulp out of his coffee

"Oh god I really do like him though..." Karkat raised an eyebrow

"You're finally admitting it dipshit? No duh you like him I can tell when someones head over heels. Didn't expect you to admit it so soon." he bit into one of his doughnuts. The chocolate one.

"Wwait wwhat? Is it really that obvvious? Do you think he knowws?!" Eridan started blushing hard a look of horror on his face. Karkat swallowed his doughnut and gave him a blank stare

"Dan. Are we thinking of the same guy? The one with the head injury. The one that has trouble figuring out how to open jelly? The one who could continue colouring happily even if the building was burning down around him? If he has figured out you like him he's probably healing a lot faster then we first thought. Right now I don't think he even knows what it is to love someone let alone that you do." he rolled his eyes and sipped his coffee

"Hey hey! Wwait I didn't say I lovved him!" Karkat raised an eyebrow giving him a very unconvinced look

"Fuck, oh god I do." He groaned and held his head in his hands squeezing and rubbing his temples

"Eridan chill geeze. Whats so wrong with loving him?" Karkats voice cracked a little with concern, he cleared his throat 

"Isn't it improper?" He sighed looking up at Karkat

"Not really. Dosn't say anything about it in the regulations..."

"Wwhat if he dosen't lovve me back?" Eridans lower lip trembled 

"Poo for you. Move on. But right now I don't think he'll love anyone or anything, well actually he might but probably wont have any idea what that feeling is. Why do you think he talks endlessly about colours in his dumb notebook. They appear to be the only thing he really understands right now. So wait and fucking calm your tits Ed." He downed the rest of his coffee crushing the cup and tucking it in the bin behind him. Suddenly he was being hugged tight. He let out a surprised squawk but when he felt tears dripping on his shoulder he let it slide hugging Eridan and patting his back

"Thanks Kar. You always know what to say." the taller mans voice wobbled and cracked

"Your fucking welcome but give me a warning next time you want to glomp me ok shit head? Can I talk about my issues now crack ass or are you gonna keep sobbing on my shoulder?" he said rolling his eyes, Eridan pulled away wiping his face 

"No your right I'vve been pretty selfish. Wwhat did your clowwn do this time?" he smiled weakly 

"Well they decided they were going to smuggle some faygo into the fucking hospital somehow so they decided to use me to do so. I of course said no and they threw a fucking temper tantrum, crying and being a huge fucking idiot. Luckily after like half an hour tavros wheeled past and came to get the fuck wit to calm their shit. I swear to god those two are too sweet for each other it makes me want to fucking barf but I guess it means I get a calm Gamzee on my hands which is always nicer then a batshit gamzee." he ranted

"Ah sounds dramatic. Sweet though. They seem really cute together." he smiled and leaned on his hand

"Yeah yeah but all the time it gets fucking annoying. I feel like I might be able to stay calm enough to survive the rest of the afternoon now too after that rant so, thanks I guess asshole." 

"No problem Kat." they both started getting up and leaving

"Stop giving me stupid nicknames Dan." Karkat grumbled back at Eridan

"Stop calling me Dan, kat." They argued all the way back to the hospital about their nick names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I've been working for two days on this and it was too frustrating. I'm sorry its short I tried


	6. Clowns Are Easy to Draw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which sollux finds a new muse

Sollux stared at the paper in front of him. Pencil in his right hand rubber in his left, he hunched over and started scribbling. The rough edges always fitted together when he did this. He was slowly working his way through his shattered thoughts by scribbling the rough edges away. A vicious looking clown with a grin that split their face and reminded him of the stranger who jump scared him appeared. He frowned and tilted his head. No, the strangers features were smoother, Softer... that blotchy skin... Vitiligo! 

His eyes widened as he remembered the word for the persons skin. He put his pencil down and compared the two portraits. Yes the second one was much better. Better by miles. Better then a lot of his other drawings. He tilted his head and kept drawing. The clown as he had dubbed the stranger started dancing across his page in pencil, indigo crayon swirling through their messy hair, peonies appearing at their feet, long smooth swooping movements. They were graceful. Lovely. They smoothed everything out like Feferi did, like their brother did, like their father. But not quite as much as Eridan ever could. Still the clown danced. He sighed and stacked his paper carefully into his stuffed binder.

That old note book had lasted barely half a month. So many doodles and lists. He had lost count. He needed a new binder soon. He put his binder away and hopped out of bed. Feet firmly on the ground he walked out of his room with a hum taking buzzy with him for strength, a few pieces of paper for doodles and his trusty rubber and pencil just incase of the need for drawing. He walked down the hallways looking at the paintings and windows and plants. He came to the elevators and pressed down. After a minute of fiddling with bees tiny little squishy legs the doors dinged and he stepped in stroking the cold metal doors as he passed them. He took a deep breath and looked out the glass wall to see if anyone was in the gardens. His muse was there. The clown. Bending down to smell some daisies. Tall. Of course that nurse was near by, reading a book. He smiled as he got out of the elevator and walked out over to the clown.  
"Thup. Niice daiithiieth?" He looked over their shoulder. They startled but laughed when they saw him.  
"Yeah. They smell funny heheh." They offered him a hand. He took it with a smile.  
"Gamzee. Sorry about scaring you the other day brother." their hand was rough and calloused. their handshake lazy but firm and friendly. He noticed their voice raised and fell in pitch dipping and leaping like the clown had in his drawings. From feminine crisp bell notes down to rumbling deep manly ones. Crackling and trilling. He still couldn't place their gender.  
"Thollux. Are you a boy or giirl?" Gamzee looked a little surprised but quickly recovered with a grin  
"I identify with neither man. I'm agender." they chuckled and hummed  
"But what do II uthe for you? II can't thay he or thhe?" he tilted his head with confusion.  
"They and them brother if it ain't a bother." they looked pleased and grateful if somewhat more surprised  
"Ok II'll remember that." He grinned and nodded filing away the fact  
"I've been drawing you thince we met a whiile back." he hummed  
"Oh? I doubt I make a very good muse but I suppose I'm flattered brother." Gamzee blushed and chuckled  
"No you're pretty good to draw... Would you miind iif II drew you now?" He tilted his head  
"If I can hold your little buddy." Gamzee grinned and nodded at buzzy bee. Sollux grinned back and handed him over pulling his paper and drawing stuff out. He guided gamzee over to a seat and sat down beside them.  
"You can move if you want but staying still would be better." He hummed setting out a basic structure for Gamzee's head and shoulders. They nodded and relaxed on the bench appearing to space out. Perfect. Their expression was serene and far off like they were in another dimension. Other worldly.

Sollux hummed and sang a little as he worked sketching furiously trying to get Gamzee's expression just right. Shading smoothed out across their face. Their arms and buzzy bee appeared in the drawing. Shading appeared on those too. The lines were cleaned up. A basic background was added. Finally his signature and Gamzee's name appeared in the bottom. He hummed and stopped.   
"Done." Gamzee snapped out of it and hummed  
"Can I see bro?" Sollux smiled and nodded holding out the drawing and reaching for buzzy bee. The items were traded and Gamzee let out a gasp  
"Bro, theres no way I look this good." They looked up him confused  
"II jutht draw the truth." Sollux shrugged hugging buzzy a little tighter. This was the most realistic drawing he had drawn yet. He was pretty pleased with it. Suddenly he was being hugged tight, he let out a small surprised squeak but relaxed and let his new friend hug him.  
"Thank you brother." Gamzee pulled away grinning the widest they had since Sollux had first saw them  
"It means a lot that you didn't up and draw me like a freak..." They blushed and looked down  
"II don't draw liieth if II have a reference GZ. You're a really great one by the way." He smiled reaching out for his drawing, Gamzee begrudgingly let him take it back  
"You better draw me something to keep next time we meet brother." Gamzee pouted and crossed their arms  
"II wiill eheh. Chiill GZ II aiint gonna cheat my betht model out of anythiing. II'll draw thomethiing for you and thatth a promiith." He spat on his hand and offered it to the clown. Gamzee grinned spitting on their own hand and shaking on it  
"I'll see you round Solbro." They both got up and sollux smiled  
"II'll look forward to iit GZ." he kept smiling even as he went up in the elevator and back to his room to take a nap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I'm sorry about this but it looks as if my chapters will be short for now. I'm going to consider combining/bulking them up later but for now this is the best I can do :P Hope you enjoyed my head cannons for the big clown goof


	7. Photos and Drawings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux draws and gets to look at photos and cuddle with ed. Ed gets embarrassed by one particular photo and ends up bumping into fef

Sollux hummed doodling and scribbling. It was a picture of all the people he knew having a small beach party. Gamzee in a lovely purple poka-dot dress looking like a summer dream and galloping through the waves faster then anyone else could. Eridan wearing a pair of purple swim trunks his warm tan skin looking perfect as ever and his hair tousled sandy and wet trying to splash Tuna, who had black and yellow speedos and had blue and red goggles sitting crookedly in his messy curly hair splashing back in a bouncy frenzy of water and sand. Alex coming in shore on a surf board in a long sleeved wet suit grinning and laughing his darker honey blonde clinging to his face and head. Feferi sitting on the beach under a umbrella watching them all grinning like christmas morning, wearing a fuchsia sarong a head scarf holding back her dark velvet red curls and sunglasses shading her eyes. 

They were all grinning and being happy in his pages. Drawing was easy now. Drawing was like breathing. Drawing was thinking. It helped him sand down the occasional rough edges he had poking out of the finished thoughts and fit the other pieces together. The colours were no longer a problem at all, they were reversed to reality but weren't a nightmarish mess. To say the least he enjoyed drawing a lot. It was going from a necessity to a hobby but he was just loving it more. The lines were pulling together even better. He could understand and everything around him was was making more sense too.

He could spot peoples emotions a lot better and he could figure out how to react to their emotions and what they said. He was figuring out his feelings for them too. He liked everyone but in different ways. His brother and father were plutonic, family love. Feferi and Gamzee were plutonic love. Karkat was a acquaintance of his through Gamzee, He was grumpy but pretty cool and actually really soft under his shouty shell. Eridan... He wasn't sure about Eridan yet. He liked him a lot more then everyone else but he wasn't sure how to identify the feeling. It was, It filled him up. His thoughts often consumed for hours by images of Eridan's face, Eridan's eyes, Eridan's arms, Eridan's neck, Eridan's chest. Eridan's voice. Just, Eridan. He couldn't stop thinking about him. He loved him but he didn't know in what way. He loved him so much it hurt. He just wanted to be in his arms all the time and hugging him, he wanted to kiss him too. It was weird. He wanted to ask FF if she knew what was going on but something was stopping him. 

He sighed and looked at the page. Eridan's face was surrounded by hearts, again. He really had to stop doing this. It was ruining a lot of his drawings. He grumbled putting the drawing away in his second binder. He had gone through two binders in two weeks. He was wearing a buzzy bee onesie but even he had to admit this was pretty ridiculous. He sighed and hugged buzzy bee nuzzling her fur. He heard the door open  
"Hey bee." Ed. He looked up with a wide grin his confusion and stress melting away over the whole debacle. Even though Eridan was the source of his stress when he wasn't around, when he was around Sollux forgot all the mess in his head. Eridan walked over, hair floppy and curly, damp from rain. He was wearing a navy pea coat today. He plopped down on the bed beside Sollux.  
"Finally got around to grabbing my damn laptop so I can showw you some of my photos." Eridan smiled back kicking his shoes off and snuggling closer, Sollux automatically leaning on ed resting his head on the nurse's shoulder  
"Yay." He hummed happily and settled looking at the screen not noticing the quick blush spreading across ED's cheeks. 

Eridans work was good. His soft lighting really bought out peoples expressions and made them look almost otherworldly. Sollux leaned closer trying to examine the photographs, making Eridan's blush spread further.

"Beautiful..." he whispered squinting at the screen, the colours were weird as usual but it was bothering him this time. He huffed and pulled away from the screen landing on ED's chest. Eridan quickly pulled away with a cough now completely red.  
"Right well I have wwork to do so.." Sollux pouted  
"Nooooo thtay." He pouted more and hugged Ed's waist looking up at him with puppy eyes. Ed froze then relaxed with a sigh.  
"Ugh. Fine. But if I get fired I'm blaming you." He rolled his eyes settling back letting sollux hug him wrapping a arm around him. He kept flicking through the photos slowly letting Sollux ogle over them. It was nice to see Sollux so excited over something so simple. He always had such a childish view on things. It was refreshing. Sollux hummed lowly and subconsciously tracing his fingers across Eridan's stomach occasionally shuffling around a little. They sat looking through Eridan's photos for a good hour sollux pointing out photos he liked more then the others. It was so relaxing Eridan nearly started drifting off not noticing he had flicked to that he didn't want Sollux to see untill it was too late.  
"Ed why are you weariing a dreth?" Sollux mumbled lazily. The laptop was quickly slammed shut and eridan tensed, blushing bright red, pushing away from Sollux.  
"Oh wwould you look at the time! I havve to go Sol so..." Sollux pouted  
"You diidn't awnther my quethtiion..." Eridan quickly put his laptop away and started walking out the door  
"Sorry Sol I got to go noww. I'll showw you more photos another time." he quickly ran out the room and slammed the door behind him  
"Bye ed...." he waved weakly at the door. He sighed and snuggled under the blankets feeling tired.

Eridan stood outside Sollux's room and calmed himself counting to ten. Sollux wouldn't understand yet so he was fine. No need to panic. He wasn't ready to go back in there and be interviewed but he was ok. He would go back and talk to sollux tomorrow. It would be fine. He sighed and dragged his hand through his hair walking away from the room holding his laptop still. As he walked out the hospital Feferi saw him and followed him.  
"Hey ed! Erifish! I thought it was your day off?" She bubbled curiously grabbing his arm  
"Oh wwell um yeah I mean, cant I just come to visit kar on my day off? I mean he's, not at wwork either because its day off... Shit I had a better lie for this day planned." He fiddled nervously with his laptop and looked away  
"YOU SAW SOLLUX ON YOUR DAY OFF?!?!" she squealed and jumped up and down excitedly  
"Shh shh calm dowwn fef! Wwe're in a hospital. People are probably tryin to sleep!" He tried to hush her getting her to stop jumping. Thankfully she stopped and he let out a sigh.  
"Geeze fef don't you havve wwork to do?" She laughed  
"Eridan do you know what the time is? I'm heading home now silly. You've probably been here all day." she wriggled her eyebrows eridan gave her a vicious glare.  
"Oh sush fef. Look. I need to talk to you about him so grab your stuff and lets go?" She grinned and patted his arm  
"Yeah Erifish, I'll go get my stuff. See you in ten minutes." She hummed and walked away. He watched her go with a fond smile and started walking towards the exit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOODNESS I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I just stopped feeling the chapter and then I got sick and stuff happened. Imsosorry


	8. Grumpy and Goofy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gamzee looks for the artist they met the other day with Karkat and Karkat gets introduced to Sollux

Gamzee hummed staring out the window at the city spacing out to the pretty lights. They loved the city this early in the morning with its motherfucking massive buildings and previously mentioned pretty lights. It had an amazing glow that made them feel all warm and miraculous inside, like it was a sleeping beehive slowly waking up and starting to buzz with activity. They pulled their thin duvet tighter around their shoulders shivering slightly at a small gust that flew over their neck as the door behind them opened letting someone in their room. Karkat of course who mother fucking else? The nurse walked over and sat next to them on the bed huffing when gamzee responded by leaning on his shoulder. They sat quietly for another moment while gamzee came back down to earth out of their blurry city light haze.

"So want to go for a walk and find that 'mysterious miraculous artist' Gamzee?" Karkat huffed looking up at the clown with a unamused glare that barely covered his friendly affection and amusement, Karkat despite his grouchy appearance was really quite soft and sweet. Really cuddly and his eyes always full of maternal worry and affection. Gamzee often caught themselves nearly calling him mom. He snapped his fingers in front of Gamzee's face with another huff.

"Earth to Gamzee, do you want to find Sollux or not you dipshit, asswipe of a clown?" he crossed his arms raising a eyebrow at them  
"Oh uh sorry karbro, Yeah I'd love to up and find my artsy bro. I love his drawings of me. He wouldn't let me keep the last one he did of me but he promised next time I would get one! Sorry for spacing out man." they awkwardly rubbed the back of their neck letting their duvet fall off their shoulders as they got up. Karkat tutted like a mother hen and quickly tucked their bed back into shape.  
"Well come on then you goofball. We'll find your Rembrandt or whatever. He's probably hanging out in the gardens right now actually, if we're lucky. He's got a wacky sleep schedule gamz..." Gamzee was already skipping out the door humming and singing a random tune, Karkat rolled his eyes and followed his goofball of a patient. 

A little while later they were walking around the gardens, Gamzee stopping at the occasional flower bed and smelling them as best as they could from behind the walls around the beds. Sollux did not appear to be hanging around as far as Karkat could see right now but Gamzee seemed perfectly happy and he wasn't one to spoil the clowns good moods. Suddenly as they walked around a corner the mysterious head injury artist was there bent over a piece of paper, his drawing implement gripped tight in his stick thin fingers, dark brows furrowed, sketching madly and gnawing on his thin lower lip. His disheveled patchy brunette hair still growing in over the massive scar in his head, face still thin and boney but there was more colour and it looked a little softer then last time. His eyes, one deep, dark, chocolate brown and one a misty, stormy blue had shallower bags under them. It was nice to see him looking a little better. Charcoal, huh. Gamzee thought that medium would suit Sollux's style a lot better. They would have to find whoever gave the guy his charcoals and give them a hug for being so cool. 

They skipped over happily and plopped down next to him. He startled quickly shuffling his papers hiding the drawing he had been doing, Gamzee caught a quick glance of a rough dark harsh drawing, they frowned slightly wondering what required such harsh lines but quickly set their smile back into place.  
"Hey brother done any especially miraculous drawings recently?" they hummed setting their hands in their lap smiling at him  
"Oh uh, not really. Waiit II mean II diid do one where II drew everyone II knew haviing fun on a beach whiich wath pretty good I geuth..." he trailed off and started shuffling through the paper up, Gamzee waited patiently. After another moment he held up the drawing of the beach. Pretty good? Pretty good?! Gamzee scoffed  
"Brother thats motherfucking amazing! I don't see how you only think its 'pretty good'? I love my togs!!" they grinned leaning closer to look at the drawing. Sollux flushed, his honey tan, slightly slickly skin picking it up easily.  
"R-really? II mean. Of courth. II am the betht artiitht iit ith me." He quickly recovered his face cooling down and settling into a cocky smirk  
"Yeah dude, the best! But could you uhh, maybe do a portrait? You promised me last time?" they smiled when he nodded eagarly  
"Of courth GZ. You're my favoriite muthe after all." He grinned and started sketching out their basic bone structure in a pencil he made appear out of nowhere.  
"Daww I bet you say that to all ya muses." Gamzee chuckled blushing slightly  
"Nah you're the betht GZ. You are the betht muthe iit iith you." He chuckled adding some dimension to Gamzee's face. Karkat walked over and stood with his hands on his hips, he cleared his throat. Sollux looked up slightly startled but relaxed when he saw Gamzee grinning out the corner of his eye. This nurse must be safe if Gamzee trusted him.  
"You going to introduce me clumpnugget?" he raised an eyebrow at the clown and Sollux turned to face Gamzee raising his eyebrows too.  
"Oh yeah! Sollux this is Karkat! He's my best friend, I think you guys will get along miraculously!" The clown grinned when karkat scoffed and took both their hands making them shake.  
"Niice to meet you KK." Sollux smiled and took his hand back when Gamzee stopped with their foolishness  
"Likewise. This shitbag wouldn't stop talking about you and your drawings." He gestured at Gamzee  
"Its nice to finally have a face I can put to your name. Speaking of drawings though, hows the drawing you're doing right now?" he gestured at Sollux's paper  
"IItth great of corthe." Sollux scoffed showing him the half finished portrait of Gamzee  
"Huh, Gamzee wasn't lying. Your drawings are pretty fantastic. And I wasn't far off when I said Rembrandt. You have a similar style to him." Karkat nodded and handed the drawing back carefully  
"Really? Waiit, yeah of corthe iit'th good. II'm the betht. My thtyle iith more related to my mood. IIf II'm feeliing happy iit wiill be bubly and more liike the iilliithratiionth iin a kiidth book. Riight now II'm iin a weiird mood tho iitth a biit dark..." He trailed off as he went back to drawing, Gamzee going back into position. Karkat sat beside them and pulled out a book. A bad romcom. They all sat for another good while just simply enjoying the silence and doing their activities. After what felt like ten minutes Sollux put his charcoal away and waved at Gamzee. The clown who had been spaced out came back to reality and grinned at the artist. Sollux grinned back and handed Gamzee the drawing. Gamzee gasped.  
"Wow.... Motherfucker are you sure this is me? I look beautiful." Karkat walked over and looked over Gamzee's shoulder.  
"More like hauntingly beautiful. But yeah this is fantastic Sollux. How long have you been drawing?"  
"From what II remeber, thiince II met FF my doctor. Tho nonstop for nearly a month now. I miight have been good at drawing before whatever happened to me though. But there's no way to be sure." his eyes widened when he realised his lisp and stutter had disapeared for a second. He looked at Karkat then Gamzee. They were both astounded too.  
"Diid you guyth... Dang iit." He grumbled as it came back in  
"That was miraculous brother! Your lisp went away for a second there!" Gamzee grinned and patted his shoulder.  
"Could you up and sign my drawing though? I wanna have it signed so when you're famous I can brag about how you called me your best muse once upon a time!" Gamzee passed the drawing back and Sollux smiled quickly scribbling his name in the corner.  
"There ya go Gamzee. Now iif you'll excuth me II'm goiing to go thleep." He got up and walked away. Gamzee and Karkat watched him curiously

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW LOOK AT THAT I GOT THIS NEXT ONE OUT PRETTY QUICK. Heh sorry the last few chapters took so long. In future they probably will take longer anyway because I'm trying to make them longer but eh. We shall see my lovelies. Hope you enjoyed this one! If you want to ask me anything (that would make my day) or tag me in any fan art (that would make my entire week if you made me fan art!) hit me up at http://land-of-clowns-and-bulls.tumblr.com/ ! That would be pretty rad :)  
> I might make a little blog for this AU if it gets a decent lil following and I can be bothered   
> :P


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux fights for his memories

Sollux woke up in a cold sweat with a screech. A nightmare still haunting him. Dark flashing lines, vicious emotions, yelling and a car crash, shattering glass, head smashing against something, sobbing and crying, flashing lights and being lifted onto something head exploding with pain. So much raw dark emotion and dark ripped edges of thoughts. He growled holding his aching head. He had to get them out. Picking up a pad of paper, charcoal and putty he scribbled the sharp dark shadows across his page, he stared blankly at them. It wasn't working. He huffed and cringed. Ok he needed to face his thoughts this time.... 

They were the memories. He could feel it in his bones. But they didn't make sense. He needed to push through his colourful mixed up thoughts to that dark swirling pit surrounded by vicious red and blue fire. He yanked a free blue spark, ripping it towards him and cringing at the pain that shot through his head. He hissed grabbing a free red spark then started coiling the fire around his wrists. It subsided as it met his subconscious turning into a soft glow that started engulfing everything. He growled managing to clear the fire enough to reach towards his memories but he had used all of his mental stamina.

He groaned rubbing his face bringing himself back to reality and out of the colours in his head. His hands were trembling, shudders raked through his body. He looked slowly around his room. The yellow tungsten lights cast soft light like always, catching on the bland white dresser, the cloth bag that held all three of his binders, the divided plastic box that contained his multitude of pens, pencils, crayons and recently gained charcoals, the soft yellow blanket still spread across his bed. Buzzy ended up in his arms and he squeezed the tired lumpy bee tight. Buzzy with all his current memories. Buzzy who had met all his current friends. Buzzy who was only second to Eridan. Buzzy who was a symbol of all he was today. 

He hummed and walked to the window holding the dirty soft toy against his chest. Looking down at the city he wondered if the sollux in his memories was nice. Was he happy? Did he have friends? Would he approve of his current friends? Was he smart? Was he successful? Would he like buzzy? He pressed his forehead and hands against the window squeezing his eyes shut concentrating on the cool glass. He had so many questions and it was overwhelming. A darkness started swirling and building from the pit. A gritty mess of emotions. Linking with black tendrils to the colour and wrapping them in their barbed-wire grip. It was terrifying as they started being pulled in to the pit swirling with the blackness. He sat down picking up buzzy again nuzzling the plush with a sob

He heard the door open with a click, hurried footsteps and someone was sitting next to him. A warm arm over his shoulders as he was pulled against someones chest. He nuzzled them with a soft sigh as the blackness withdrew leaving duller colours and more shards. He looked up meeting Eridan’s eyes.   
“Thankth ed.” he mumbled against the nurses chest hugging buzzy a little tighter, Eridan sighed rubbing his back  
“Its ok Sol its my job. WWhat happened?” Sollux cringed at the memory of the black pit  
“Jutht a niightmare. II’m ok. You can go do your real job now.” he pulled away pressing his face into buzzy’s fur not seeing Eridan’s blush  
“Hey I am doing my real job, my real jobs looking after you and making sure you’re happy.” he huffed trying to cool his face down his brows crinkling   
“No your jobth to make thure II don’t diie. Making thure II’m happy iith fef’th job. II know you giive me thpeciial treatment Ed…” Sollux trailed off squinting up at Ed a odd feeling building in his gut, Eridan blushed harder.

“I most certainly do not give you special treatment. I just pay more attention to you because you’re just one of the nicer patients to deal with and I feel a lot less stressed around you ok. If anything I’m coming in to see you during my free time for my own selfish gain.” he huffed crossing his arms over his chest and looking away trying to fight down the blush that was spreading across his cheeks. Sollux sighed and nodded mildly confused why disappointment was starting build with its green gloopiness swirling in his gut. He lay back against Eridans chest and nuzzled his shoulder.

“Ok well you know II’m not actually goiing to be here for ever riight? You aren’t relyiing completely on me to stay chiill riight?” he noticed Ed’s chest was soft, nice. Better then a pillow. Ed scoffed.  
“Wwhat do you take me for? Some needy idiot? Wwell you’re wwrong. I havve other people I can rely on.” He rubbed Sollux’s back again almost subconsciously Sollux was starting to feel sleepy  
“No of courthe not. Hath anyone told you you have a niice thoft chest?” Eridan tensed his face crinkling up into a sneer and his brows creasing.  
“You accusing me of having boobs Sol?” he sounded bitter and grumpy, stiff. Sollux wanted soft ed back  
“No? Haviing a thoft chetht dothen’t mean boobth and you don’t have boobth, II’m thure there are actually men out there wiith biigger man boobth than you. Geeze II jutht liike how thought you are ok?” he grumbled looking up at Eridan. The nurse relaxed letting out a quiet relieved sigh patting Sollux’s back  
“No you’re right. Yeah. Yup.” Sollux started drifting off again happily now that ed was soft again.  
“Why so defenthiive ed? IIt’th not liike boobth mean you’re a giirl riight? II mean Gamzee iithn’t a giirl becauthe they wear naiil poliish and they’re not a guy becauthe they have a goatiie. They’re still agender because that’s who they are. So, even if you have boobs. You’re still a guy if thats what you say you are.” He felt Eridan shudder and wet droplets fall on his face. He looked up and eridan was sobbing quietly rubbing his face  
“Oh my god Ed are you ok? Did I thay thomething wrong? Diid II hurt you?” he became distressed gently pulling at the nurses hands so he could gently wipe his face and place buzzy in his arms  
“No, no Sollux you said evverything r-right.” his voice cracked sounding significantly more feminine and wet as he squeezed buzzy gently  
“Thank you Soullux.” he smiled weakly letting his patient wipe away his tears. Now Sollux was really confused. He pulled his hands away from Ed’s face and folded them in his lap.  
“Um II thiink II want to go back to thleep. Are you thure you’re ok?” Eridan nodded setting his jaw  
“Yeah come on then Sol, wwe’ll get you back to bed.” 

When Sollux went back to sleep he felt very confused but strangely much more at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I'm sorry this took so long I was just experiencing a bit of writers block and I kept procrastinating. For real if I take ages feel free to hit me up at land-of-clowns-and-bulls on tumblr ok? I'm all good with answering questions about the fic although I probably will be vague, heh. But look at that! I got my first fan art! Goodness and only after 8 short chapters! Unfortunately I cant find it but thank you anyway Minnowz :D


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